Category Archives: lifestyle

Five things to do that shows confidence

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Body language

We have all talked to someone who has their arms crossed, is turned side on to us and doesn’t make eye contact before. They aren’t open to talking or listening. I bet you can also think of some body language that shows not confident behaviour. Have you seen the head down, shoulders rolled forward and slouched seating? Do the opposite – hold your head up and look around the room. Push your shoulders back and sit up straight. Hold poses of hands on hips to assert what you are saying or rest your head on your hands to show intent listening.

Eye contact

This goes hand and hand with body language. Looking people in the eye works to show confidence. It shows you are focused and alert. If your eyes are busy flitting around the room you look jumpy and unsettled. Instead if you look directly at who you are talking with they know you are watching and engage with you better. It says you are sure of yourself.

Smile

When ever someone smiles or laughs a lot it shows they are confident. They come across as relaxed and enjoying themselves. People are drawn to those having fun and want to be more like you. Smiling is an easy way to show you are confident in the situation and not stressed out (which may be the case on the inside but no one needs to know that). Not smiling makes others think you are moody or unapproachable. Smiling will radiate confidence and add to you enjoying the experience more.

Dress the way you like

Wearing items that you like and make you feel good are confidence gainers. When you are comfortable and look good, you will feel better about yourself and any interactions with others. Extend this to having others things around that comfort you, such as your best hand bag, scarf or necklace on.

Ask a question

If you are going into a situation where you know you will lack confidence, get prepared and have questions ready.

When you are feeling uncomfortable, this will ruin your confidence so instead turn the attention onto the other person by asking questions that will get them to talk. This will allow you to relax more with the pressure on them. They will feel like they have bonded with you and it allows a stranger to feel more like a friend. You may then find some common ground that makes it easy for you to talk with confidence back to them.

Being prepared is just like preparing a speech so a talk goes well. It never hurts to be prepared when you know situations are coming up. The more prepared you feel, the more relaxed you will appear and no one knows you have got a stack of questions up your sleeve, just in case, that you have practised.

I hope these five tips to having more confidence help you out. Remember everyone goes through times where their confidence is lacking so when the need is there….Fake it until you make it!

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Confession of a missed opportunity – 12 months behind my friend, with a successful online business

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I had a chance to change my life and start down the on-line business path 12 months ago and I blew it!

But what makes it even worse is I travelled to Melbourne and caught up with my friend Tristan, who was on the same wave length as me. We discussed our ideas and what books we had been reading that had influenced us. Books such as “12 months to Retire” by Serena Star Leonard and “The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferris.

We shared our website ideas and how great it would be to work remotely. I remember the energy, excitement and how much I enjoyed the conversation.

From this moment on my friend went after his dream. Tristan did it gradually as a side gig, while working part time and now has a great on-line business shopifyninjas.com. His wife and himself are now travelling through Thailand looking for somewhere to live for a time. All the while still managing to keep his on-line business alive.

I have to be honest, I am very jealous of him. After that energized conversation we had, I returned to New Zealand and back to my job. I was fired up to start my on-line business goal so asked to reduce my hours to 20 per week. This was so I could start a website on the side and still have the security of an income.

Here is where my plan took a curve ball. Instead of saying yes to my working less hours, my boss offered me a promoted position to a very enjoyable job of organizing major events, taking away all the parts of the job I was currently doing that I didn’t like and were tedious or frustrating. And to add to this, a decent pay rise.

Stupidly, I said yes. Well it wasn’t that stupid as I did enjoy the job and the extra money for another 8 months. It kept me distracted from my goal and I didn’t seem to mind.

Now back to my friend Tristan, I was mentioning. Once I heard of his on-line business success and his plans to travel and work, it replanted the seed. I remembered that it too was my dream.

I let others make me offers that I thought were too good to refuse. It blinded me to what I really wanted to do.

So I guess the lesson learned here is when you reach a fork in the road, try to look a year into the future and imagine the result of your decision. What do you see and what do you feel? Will you be happy with putting off what you really want to do.

I wont lie, it is hard seeing my friend 12 months ahead of me. I can’t do anything about that now but I can take the next 12 months and catch him up. He is giving me something to strive for and the belief that it can be done. So it is a good thing and I can’t wait to compare notes with him later in the year.

Do you have any inspiring friends?

Have you been distracted from your goals by other offers?

Let me know in the comment box below, I’d love to hear from you.

 

So what is your big challenge for 2014?

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My big challenge for 2014

One of my challenges this year is to complete Ironman on Saturday the 1st of March. For those of you who don’t know what Ironman is, brace yourself, it is a 3.8km swim, followed by a 180km cycle and then finished off with a 42.2km run.

So an Ironman is not for the faint-hearted. It is actually for those that are a little insane and those that like to set goals that are so big they are scared by them.

Why I enter events

I grew up being a swimmer and in my adult years I got into running. I was never any good or very fast but it kept me fit and helped me not put on weight. Well, more likely, helped me justify my love of cakes and desserts.

I have run a few half marathons and didn’t really enjoy them. I never trained enough sessions or for long enough time frame so have found them ok to start with and then at around 15km I had had enough. I could always be found saying afterwards, never again!

In 2012, I forgot this rule and signed up to do my first marathon. I joined a local running club, Lakecity Athletics and found out the fun of running with a group that has a common goal. It is such a great distraction to talk to others while running. I wouldn’t be looking at my watch all the time and I wouldn’t notice my puffing so much.

I have run a marathon twice now and I didn’t really enjoy them either. So now I’m wondering why I do this to myself? The answer is I am not just about the end goal. I benefit from the journey and the learning along the way.

What I have learned from running

These types of goals are not just about the event day, they are about many steps that grow over time to deliver you to the finish. It is all about following those steps in order, to get you to the end.

For my running history something has always gone wrong toward the end, mainly injury and then I miss some of the final crucial steps. But I’m still signed up to the challenge so still run at the event. I guess that is why I keep going back for more so I get it right eventually. Maybe some day I will.

Have you done any event where you have had the perfect day?

Or have you had a not so perfect lead up like me?

Please leave your comments below, I’d love to hear your story.

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Everyone must have a job!

Everyone must have a job!

Did you know that a common belief that is shared by most and is an unwritten rule is that you must have a job? You will understand what I mean by the way when you first meet someone they ask you what you do (and they don’t mean for leisure) and then define you by that.

When you don’t have an answer to this question, as I do at the moment, people don’t quite know what to do. I am messing with their belief that everyone must have a job.

I have had the sympathy look, when they know that they couldn’t survive without their job so can not imagine I can. They are feeling sorry for me and are thankful that they’re not in my shoes.

I have had the “are you crazy” look. It is so normal to go to work everyday that it is frowned upon to be different.

I have told people I have resigned from my job and they question what job am I going to or am I looking for work. They tell me something will come up for me. They think they are being supportive and some of them may even worry about me not having a job when they have a moment to ponder.

I have had the “I am so jealous” comment. This is from people who aren’t crazy about their jobs and love the thought of leaving but never will as they are stuck in the living from one pay check to the next. They would never dream of leaving.

I have had the good on you comment. This I take two ways as I know some people know me well and know I do things that others don’t do. But also there is the under tone of that is great for you, you must have a rich husband or a large bank account.

I must confess I have a lie I am telling others when I have this lack of job conversation. I am telling them I am trying new ventures and I have 12 months to make them work and if they don’t I’ll return to the work force and get a real job. On this matter I am completely lying.

I’ve been out two weeks and I know I’m never going back. I have never worked so hard these last two weeks but it has been on what I want to do. It has been when and where I want to. I have fit in the other areas of my life that I want so I am training, cooking and being social. This lifestyle is for me and in 12 months a real job wont even be on my radar.