Body language

We have all talked to someone who has their arms crossed, is turned side on to us and doesn’t make eye contact before. They aren’t open to talking or listening. I bet you can also think of some body language that shows not confident behaviour. Have you seen the head down, shoulders rolled forward and slouched seating? Do the opposite – hold your head up and look around the room. Push your shoulders back and sit up straight. Hold poses of hands on hips to assert what you are saying or rest your head on your hands to show intent listening.

Eye contact

This goes hand and hand with body language. Looking people in the eye works to show confidence. It shows you are focused and alert. If your eyes are busy flitting around the room you look jumpy and unsettled. Instead if you look directly at who you are talking with they know you are watching and engage with you better. It says you are sure of yourself.


When ever someone smiles or laughs a lot it shows they are confident. They come across as relaxed and enjoying themselves. People are drawn to those having fun and want to be more like you. Smiling is an easy way to show you are confident in the situation and not stressed out (which may be the case on the inside but no one needs to know that). Not smiling makes others think you are moody or unapproachable. Smiling will radiate confidence and add to you enjoying the experience more.

Dress the way you like

Wearing items that you like and make you feel good are confidence gainers. When you are comfortable and look good, you will feel better about yourself and any interactions with others. Extend this to having others things around that comfort you, such as your best hand bag, scarf or necklace on.

Ask a question

If you are going into a situation where you know you will lack confidence, get prepared and have questions ready.

When you are feeling uncomfortable, this will ruin your confidence so instead turn the attention onto the other person by asking questions that will get them to talk. This will allow you to relax more with the pressure on them. They will feel like they have bonded with you and it allows a stranger to feel more like a friend. You may then find some common ground that makes it easy for you to talk with confidence back to them.

Being prepared is just like preparing a speech so a talk goes well. It never hurts to be prepared when you know situations are coming up. The more prepared you feel, the more relaxed you will appear and no one knows you have got a stack of questions up your sleeve, just in case, that you have practised.

I hope these five tips to having more confidence help you out. Remember everyone goes through times where their confidence is lacking so when the need is there….Fake it until you make it!

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